# Leaving the Hobby for Now



## fddlss (Apr 7, 2011)

Hey Everyone,

After about 3 years I've decided to leave this great hobby. I've recently moved to a small apartment and after going through a big hassle to get my 120 gallon tank in there and not being able to take my 20 Gal. QT tank I've decided to sell it. This is not a new idea, I've been thinking about it for sometime and I've finally decided to get rid of it. I'm a bit jaded and I'm not being as strict as I was before as far as taking proper care, so I've realized that it's time to let go. My son was born on May 2012 and ever since I didn't have a lot of time (or money) to put on the tank and that's probably why I lost the enthusiasm. I kept doing the weekly water changes and got excited from time to time, but it all faded fast. I don't like animals to suffer (and they are not) but before that happens I prefer to give a new home to my fish and my whole set up. I have mixed emotions and probably I could get excited again if I get some new fish or something (I currently have Africans) but how long is that excitement going to last when it turns into a job? A big part of it is that doing WC's and the fact that I'm just not at all attracted to my fish. I would like this to be different, but what can I do? I'm sad and relieved at the same time and I hope one day I will come back to the hobby, when I have my own house and maybe more time and money to spend on the hobby. I probably feel like having one again the minute I sell it, but who knows... I thought about converting it to SW or doing something really cool, but I'm afraid that after sometime I will get bored again and I'm also thinking that they day I move from that apartment is going to be a hassle to move it again.

Thanks to all of you who always helped me on this and other forums. By the way, have any of you been in a similar situation before, what's your story?


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## NJmomie (Jan 17, 2013)

Sorry to hear that you feel this way. Sounds like you have your hands full with a toddler and that may be the main reason for your recent change of heart. I have a somewhat similar situation. Prior to having children, I had a fairly large tank (100 gallon) but after having three children within five years, the fish room became a toy room and I had to give up the tank. I also couldn't handle taking care of three young ones and a hobby that required weekly maintenance. In my situation, it wasn't a waning of interest, more a insufficient amount of time to care for them. Now that the kids are a little older, I do have two tanks but they are much smaller (12-gallon and 29-gallon) and was able to convince my husband to add space for a tank when he remodel his office (55-gallon). It should be a fun experience for you so if you are no longer having fun, you've made the right decision. Good luck.


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## Cichlidman14 (Jul 17, 2013)

I'll be happy to take the tank off your hands. Live in Wesley Chapel, have 10 tanks running. One more wouldn't hurt. Dont worry. As soon as the you leave the hobby you'll fell that little itch of longing and your going to get right back into it. Maybe an even bigger tank :lol:


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## walzon1 (Jun 17, 2013)

Tanks and toddlers don't mix, but after having 2 kids myself as NJmomie said I had to give up the tanks. After 6 years I just got back into the hobby and it has become as much fun for the kids as it is for me. Just think about it like a hiatus, eventually you will be able to start again once you have a bit more time to devote. One 135g I never even set up, I got it and bought all the stuff for it, buffed out acrylic which took about a week, then once the babies came I realized I would never have the time or the money to stock it. Sold it for 1/4 of what I paid, maybe one day Ill get that another 135g to set up.


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## Floridagirl (Jan 10, 2008)

Life gets busy, but if you don't enjoy it, why spend time and money on it? If you are not sold on getting rid of the 120 tank, maybe a lightly stocked tank, for less water changes. Or a smaller, more manageable tank, like a 55, with a group of 8-10 Saulosi. Sometimes, less is more!


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## fddlss (Apr 7, 2011)

Thanks guys for your replies. It makes me feel better, as I see I'm not the only one! I got to tell you something, I haven't added a fish in that tank for at least one year and a half, for different reasons, like money, selection and because I had to move my Venustus to the QT tank because he was too aggressive and I cannot add a new fish to the QT tank with the Venustus in there and then if I add a new fish to the main tank and he's sick or get others sick, I just don't have the time to diagnose and treat them like I used to and I don't feel comfortable with that. The last fish I added was a beautiful 7"+ Livingstonii male and he died within a week, I'm sure he was sick from before. With that said, sometimes I get a little excitement from thinking to **** with everything! I'm going to get some fish I really like and start over, but then, I'm like, well maybe not 'cause I will eventually wear out, but I know that's what the hobby is about, to continue making changes, adding, trading fish. A dumb example, wouldn't you get bored of your wife or husband if they dressed with the same exact clothes for over a year? You probably still love him or her, but you will feel bored... Which I think you guys just helped me realize and answer my own question...


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## Iggy Newcastle (May 15, 2012)

Sounds like your mind is made up. It also sounds like you have an all male setup. I have never tried all male, nor will I. I feel they are kind of boring. Beautiful fish no doubt, but definitely lacking the activity you get with breeding groups. Maybe something to consider if and when you give it another go.

Good luck!


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## ozman (Sep 7, 2012)

i hear what your saying. maybe when you have your family complete and they are old enough you may want to go again and teach your children all about cichlids  
until then best wishes and enjoy every moment being a parent :thumb:


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## fddlss (Apr 7, 2011)

Thanks a lot everyone!!!


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## fddlss (Apr 7, 2011)

Hey guys, you are going to think I'm crazy, but after thinking about it and not being able to sell my tank, yet, I've decided to stay on the hobby, however, I'm making some changes, and that is, I'm going to go for an Amazon River Basin Biotope, since I've always loved fish such as arowanas and oddballs. I know they are not as pretty as Africans, but I find them very interesting and maybe that's the route I should take, so I will give it a try and I will try to keep it interesting by making changes often, while not making it a full time job.


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## Cichlidman14 (Jul 17, 2013)

Yay, keep us posted on the development of the new scape. Elephants nose es are cool but not sure if there south American plus boisterouis tankmates should be avoided.


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