# Gender Poll



## AnnaFish

*What is your gender?*​
Male6074.07%Female1822.22%Equally interested married (or otherwise) couple that posts together33.70%


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## AnnaFish

I was just undertaking the arduous task of reading TFG's huge DIY wall tank post and I realized that there was a lot of discusion "My wife would kill me if I did that"

I find it crazy that there is some how a male majority in the fish hobby. I just want to see for myself.

This isn't about feminism or anything. Just sheer curiosity. I also noticed that everyone in my LFS is usually male except the one female employee that's there every now and then.

I just can't comprehend what would make aquaria more apealing to men than women.

Thoughts?


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## Rue

I suspect it's more about the mechanics in many cases..."my pump is bigger than yours"

...and intermale competition; "my tank is bigger than your tank"...and of course, for the cichlid guys...interfish aggression..."you shoulda seen how cichlid A beat the **** outta cichlid B last night!"...or..."you shoulda seen my Oscar down 10 rosy reds last night!"...

The fish are just the the icing on the cake...


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## TheFishGuy

For the longest time my brother and I were in a competition on whos tank was bigger..... So I just blew him out of the water :lol:

I think it's a male thing because young testosterone filled boys get an oscar or some american bad a$$ cichlid and feel all cool, then it just sticks with you to adult hood. If you visit the CA folder you'll notice that CA's have big attitudes, and so do their keepers :lol: I love all the peo0ple that post in there but man words start flying every once and a while :lol:


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## justin323

I just figured it was too much work for the little ladies :lol: 
(Ok flame suit on Let me have it ladies)


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## jimw13uk

I wouldnt have thought Ladies would be interested in messing with more water after doing the washing up


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## justin323

And don't forget the dishes jimw13uk. :lol:


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## Aura

AnnaFish, I didn't know this was more of a male hobby either. Everyone I know who keeps fish is female, as am I. *

Anyway, I did a similar poll and the results showed about 75% male - 25% female. It'll be interesting to see how yours turns out.

I found the poll I posted last year. http://www.cichlid-forum.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=120096&highlight=male+female

*deleted to avoid crossing any lines.


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## Number6

let's keep the jokes to a minimum on this thread please... it doesn't usually take long for those sorts of jokes to cross a line or two.


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## davenia7

Fem here. 
The African cichlids are actually my boyfriend's fish. But he's tank illiterate... he has no patience, which is a must have in this hobby. So they are pretty much mine, though not what I would have done with the tank. He needs help to do WC's and even to feed right. So, I guess I should claim them.
I personally prefer the more peaceful but equally animated angelfish. Why do so many people fail to realize that they are cichlids though???


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## bevans76

Isn't the poll actually taking count of how many males/females are in the hobby *AND* use the computer? I was just thinking maybe there aren't more males in the hobby; perhaps it's just more females choosing not to participate in polls on forums for some reason. 
When it comes to this hobby I also think females (not all, but many) tend to setup the smaller tanks (10-20 gallons) and are satisfied with them while we (the guys) tend to really jump in and get as large and as many tanks possible and then try to figure out how we can get more. I think the constant need of upgrades and customizations leads us in the direction of this forum.

Bryan


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## live bait

Amongst my friends, it's about a 50/50 split. However, the majority of my female fish-keeping friends don't keep cichlids.

Although my wife enjoys our tank and cares about the well being of our fish, she plays no role in care or maintenance other than feeding if I'm out of town, or alerting me if a fish seems distressed.
She's just not interested in doing the work or research required.

I would love to get a larger tank, but when I bring it up, she just looks at me cross-eyed. I have a recently acquired 75 gallon that I'm going to use for saltwater. I got the tank, then broke the news to her. This tactic worked fairly well. "Honey, I did it for you..."


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## Rue

I do the tanks...but hubby helps...he's my muscle...he hauls water for me when I need him too...

I don't want a SW tank...too fussy for me...but I want to figure out the sump and how all the tubing works...so that's my current on-going project...


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## nick a

Based on the auctions and various other fish functions I've attended, from our local club to ACA, I'd say that 75/25 is a pretty good ballpark number. Can't say why beyond my own experience; my wife likes to look at tanks & fish, but totally freaks at the thought of cleaning a filter :lol: She pretty much has to sterilize the entire kitchen if I had to do any tank/filter stuff at the sink!


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## AnnaFish

That's so funny! I guess I'm a little odd. The only reason that Matt will haul my buckets of gravel vaced water is because when he pours in on the lawn it makes the grass grow all super good.

His parents bought me a 55 gallon for my birthday last year and before that the biggest tank I ever had was a 2.5 gal with a betta in it!

I can't remember why I chose african cichlids. Probably because there was a blue fish...

I would have done saltwater but I thought that would be a terrible risk for my fist tank!

As far as Angel fish and Discus -- I didn't know until recently that they were cichlids too. They don't really behave like Oscars or Africans. They're showwy because of their basic traits. (that round body). Not like africans or heavy hitting SA's. They're ovals and they use their finnage to show off.

I've always been called the anomally. Had more guy friends than girl. Played video games (work on one now http://monster-madness.com). Liked fishing, camping (no RV), sword fighting... My major is Digital Arts and Sciences and my minor is Japanese... oh and my OTHER minor is Fisheries and Aquatic Sciences.

(I'm alone at work right now with nothing to do because the game is pretty much done and so this feels really disjointed and weird.)

I want a house with like four fish tank walls! A hallway like in terrors of the deep! And koi ponds! Every wall would be a different region! Yeah!

My fiance and I want to start a fish farm. We'll do ornamentals to start, but then we can do food fish to feed the world! Yay!

Anybody have a fish they love but is hard to find?

I'd love to grow it for you!

(I'm sick of working here)


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## tnnsman7

I've noticed over 40 years of fish keeping that there are definitely more male fish hobbyists than female. I'm talking about serious hobbyists with multiple tanks, etc. I know dozens of male fish hobbyists in my state and surrounding. I only know of two female serious hobbyists. I don't think it's even close. 
Just the opposite with dog and horse breeders. All the dog breeders, breed rescue, etc. that my wife and I know are female. Same with the horse nuts in our area, almost all female.


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## straitjacketstar

I'm female.
My boyfriend and I are both fishkeepers.
Not that we socialize with many other fishkeepers but the few we've met so far have been male.


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## AnnaFish

What is it about fish that denies them that motherly love?

Who couldn't love this face?


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## davenia7

My local reef keepers club has like 6 women members out of around 75+.


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## Rift485

Oh my god that looks like Humpty Dumpty right out of the microwave!

I wonder if the disparity between female fish keepers and female dog and horse breeders is the lack of interaction between owner/pet? Fish can't exactly bond very much, which would also explain the excess of men in the hobby. You know how much we hate bonding


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## becadavies

I'm female......but im the only one i personally know!!!! My friends all get that blank expression on ther face wen i get started about my fish.......they all think im mad!!! :?

My boyfriends not a fish lover (in fact i think hes jealous!!)

Saying that, i have caught him on many occasions late at night watching wiv pure fascination my all male mbuna!!!!! He even refers to 2 of them as "Angry" + "Angriest"....

I think he secretly wants 2 love them too......not enough to allow me an upgrade thou 

All my breeders/stockists are male.....so are all the LFS people who 1/2 hav an idea bout africans...

*** never really taken it into consideration before now!!! Shocking really :roll:


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## bevans76

beca, I totally read your post with an accent. Combine it with words like "mad" (meaning crazy), "wiv" (our version of "with") and "shocking really" and it fits perfect and I recommend other Americana folk to try it. Love it!

Bryan


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## Rift485

LOL I've never made an effort to read people from the UK's posts with an accent but it really does work! Beca your posts are going to be extra fun to read now


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## becadavies

:lol: :lol:

and Thats well toned down- im from London, thru and thru cockney.....if i wrote how i spoke, u wouldnt make head nor tail of any of it......  
........U'd all think i was off my trolley!! - i def wouldnt get any responses to my posts thats 4 sure 

It'd be intresting to hear how u imitate english accent......ther are loads of different accents like ther r in US..... I bet u do it all posh + well spoken dont u???? :lol:


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## AnnaFish

My step father is from england and he likes to go around running though all of the dialects for my baby sister.

I personally like Cockney better than the queens english. But I'm southern so proper don't do me right.

Although, I don't know which english accent would socially reflect southern best.


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## TheFishGuy

Yeah, my wife loves the fish but won't do any maint. :? Although she let me build the 800 and she's fully supportive of monster fish rescue. There's nothing like a supportive other half. It makes the hobby that much more enjoyable 

Oh, and anna, I've got three tanks in the wall, a 185, 240 and 800  It's AWESOME! I LOVE IT


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## AnnaFish

I'm serious. I want to live *inside* an aquarium.


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## TheFishGuy

Have you visited my site? Check out the pics on the home page.... That's me in my tank :lol:

My brothers joke that someday I'm going to build a house in the middle of a lake and my basement walls would be glass....

I looked at them with a complete serious look and said "Huh, that's a great idea...."


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## AnnaFish

It would be great! Because it could like, help regulate the temperature of your house!


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## blairo1

I'm a bloke..........

Maybe you were expecting more from me.....

But, well, I'm a bloke.

:lol:

My partner loves our fish, possibly more than I do. Again, the bloke thing remember.

I'm a bit more detached, I mean I do love my fish but my interests are more heavily invested in the science, behaviours, heirachy etc etc behind them. So I love them for that because I just find them fascinating, but it's not pet love, just that it's very important to me that I care for them to make them as healthy as possible.

That's my enjoyment in the hobby, or at least a part of my enjoyment.


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## becadavies

blairo1 said:


> That's my enjoyment in the hobby, or at least a part of my enjoyment.


 :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: and the rest....x :lol:


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## blairo1

:wink:


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## becadavies

Ahhhhhh, Blair.. I appreciate ur referance to me in ur signature thanx


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## blairo1

:lol: I'm playing innocent remember!


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## TheFishGuy

And the corruption begins :lol: :roll:


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## LittleFrog

Anna, I'm in the same boat as you! None of my female friends like fish either, they get the same blank looks on their faces when I start talking about them! I also tend to have more male friends than female, and I've always been a bit of a tomboy. I've also noticed that there are significantly more men than women in my local fish club.


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## blairo1

:lol: Not to generalise, but women are _always_ busy, seriously I don't know a single one that isn't hectic doing everything at once at different times....... :?

So it's either that or us blokes just have a lot more free time on our hands.

Admittedly, it's probably due to the ladies running around like crazy _because_ of us.

But uh, I don't know, I'm just theorising here....

:lol:


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## Theresa_M

Female here, although my husband bought me my first tank.

My dad had a 55g built into the basement wall of the house I grew up in; I inherited the addiction from him. Two of my children have the fish-keeping interest as well, my daughter more than my son.


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## justin323

We need a poll to show how many singles female hobbyists there are? I need to meet me a fish lovin girl :lol:


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## becadavies

Well its ur lucky day Justin323...HERE i AM!!!!!!

But i come with excess baggage so be warned!! :lol: :lol:


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## Rift485

And if you'd like a sample of the aforementioned "excess baggage" just go check out the "Guess that Fish' topic. You'll be in for hours of fun and jaw-dropping speechlessness :lol:


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## becadavies

:x

Oh dear *Rift 485* - Wat a terrible pickle u hav gotten urself into!!!.... Are u aware of the consequences of this naive bravery??? :wink:


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## blairo1

Uh oh.


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## davenia7

Watch out Justin.
Beca is singing:
"One way or another... I'm gonna getcha, I'll getcha, getcha, getch."
(in the words on Blondie)


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## justin323

Good thing there's a rather large body of water between us :lol: :lol:


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## BlackShark11k

I don' wanna give away my gender for a couple reasons, even though i did submit the poll question truthfully... And Artemis is sorta a girls name...
I'm sorta crazy for fish anyhoo, mainly ones over 4 feet, like arapaimas, RTC, that kinda stuff and also big CA, like JD's and O's(wait there SA, ****!). Despite i don't know anyone with a bigger tank than myself- physically. I'm sure TFG and a lot of you guys beat me there


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## Munky

Being a bloke as soon as my girlfriend left me i got rid of the table and chairs in the dinning room and treated myself to a new 5ft tank and cabinet. To go with the 3 other tanks i have.

Best thing she ever did leaving me- i'm happy with my fish! 

"You love those fish more than you love me," she use to say :x yeah i did :thumb:


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## AnnaFish

0_.

Good riddance then?

*FISH!*

_Better than SEX~!_


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## becadavies

Ummmmmmm, i couldnt live without my fish but there are definately ways they dont pleasure me...  ...for that u need a *man* (or women-whichever is ur preferance!!!)


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## AnnaFish

I didn't mean it...


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## becadavies

Oh No Annafish.....i was only joking Hunny Bunny- Ahh bless....I forgot to use the wink wink smiley at the end!! :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink: :wink:

See now thats the problem wiv talking by text.....no1 can be sure wat context to take it in!! 

But im sure fish can be just as pleasurable in that department- cant say *** tried!! Ill let u no how i get on :wink: :wink: :lol: :lol:


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## blairo1

Duuuuuuuuuude!

That's wrong, I'm going to go and wash my eyes....


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## becadavies

:?: :?:


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## becadavies

See now that proves my comment bout talking by text.....its always taken out of context :?


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## Munky

Yep it was good ridence all right. 8)

Some of you may like your fish a bit more than you should :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## blairo1

Becca, you were on about using fish for pleasure, I'm not sure how far out of context that can be taken......

:lol:


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## becadavies

Yes Blair ur right.... no need to go wash ur eyes over it thou.... :lol: :x :lol:


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## blairo1

:lol: Look if your that hard up you should just come over to my house...... 

Hahahahahaaaaa.


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## becadavies

Im on my way........... :thumb: (can i bring my fish? he has spines on dorsal fin!  )


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## PsYcHoTiC_MaDmAn

I cant say i know any women who keep fish. (apart from u lot over the web) there are a few in the LFS.

most people just think i'm crazy when i mention my 12 fishtanks and small pond.


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## becadavies

I dontknow any1 but my stockist and the LFS boy  

U lot are my only fishy friends


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## AnnaFish

Daah! I just noticed madman was from wales!!

My fiance studied at Aberystwyth!

He loves wales! Yay!

...


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## fishonthebrain

Adding another female to the list!!! 

Jess


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## PsYcHoTiC_MaDmAn

AnnaFish said:


> Daah! I just noticed madman was from wales!!
> 
> My fiance studied at Aberystwyth!
> 
> He loves wales! Yay!
> 
> ...


thats about 20 miles up the road. only real town nearby.


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## BlackShark11k

I like whales a bit more than wales.  Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference :!:


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## PsYcHoTiC_MaDmAn

artemis1 said:


> I like whales a bit more than wales.  Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference :!:


both are wet


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## becadavies

_*"If all else fails....Try Wales"*_


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## blairo1

Hey Jess!

Long time no speak!! Hope you're well....


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## TheFishGuy

All I've got to say is OMG........... Someone needs a good shaggin' :lol:


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## becadavies

Yeeey...the old TFGs back.....uve been pretty boring recently....Too formal 4 my liking!!

And just for the record it *IS* the hormones!!!!

Pregnancy does funny, FUNNY things to you!!!

But u know all about that anyway...thats y u have 4 children!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## justin323

I just got back from a cruise to mexico..........Let's just say fish were not needed


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## AnnaFish

0_.

Cabana Boy?


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## justin323

Actually I forgot which country SHE was from. :roll:


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## AnnaFish

0_.

Did you also forget that she was a he?


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## becadavies

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Yeah, u keep telling urself that justin323..... :wink:


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## justin323

Well it was the prettiest boy I ever seen(especially later that night). Whatsa matter you guys jealous


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## blairo1

Ohhhhhhh man, this is going down a dangerous road........


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## becadavies

U ever been Thailand justin323.....some of the "ladyboys"over ther are the most stunning "shes" ull ever see.....they put real "ladies" to shame!!!

Just a thought!! :wink:


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## blairo1

Now aint that a fact, still, the third leg gives it away JUST A LITTLE!........

:lol:


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## straitjacketstar

I'd just love to point out the wonderful hypocracy of this site's mods.
Nothing against the lot of you, I happen to have a sense of humor, but seeing since it's only a matter of time...even if it is quite a bit of time I thought I'd endulge.

Mods jump all over a post that may question...say, "where can I find so and so in this area". OP is immediately directed to the reviews section, which may not answer OP's question at all, and lock the thread.
While a gem like this, dripping of sexual innuendos, on a "family site" ( :roll: , a term I've been PM'd for and reminded of for such hard language as "I HATE YOU" on a siggy) goes on till subjects of transexuals and third legs are brought about.

Smashing job mods! :thumb:


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## Aura

straitjacketstar said:


> I'd just love to point out the wonderful hypocracy of this site's mods.
> Nothing against the lot of you, I happen to have a sense of humor, but seeing since it's only a matter of time...even if it is quite a bit of time I thought I'd endulge.
> 
> Mods jump all over a post that may question...say, "where can I find so and so in this area". OP is immediately directed to the reviews section, which may not answer OP's question at all, and lock the thread.
> While a gem like this, dripping of sexual innuendos, on a "family site" ( :roll: , a term I've been PM'd for and reminded of for such hard language as "I HATE YOU" on a siggy) goes on till subjects of transexuals and third legs are brought about.
> 
> Smashing job mods! :thumb:


I've been wondering about this myself; on this topic and one other that I won't name...

It doesn't bother me, but I've told my daughter to stay out of them! :thumb:


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## straitjacketstar

Aura said:


> straitjacketstar said:
> 
> 
> 
> I'd just love to point out the wonderful hypocracy of this site's mods.
> Nothing against the lot of you, I happen to have a sense of humor, but seeing since it's only a matter of time...even if it is quite a bit of time I thought I'd endulge.
> 
> Mods jump all over a post that may question...say, "where can I find so and so in this area". OP is immediately directed to the reviews section, which may not answer OP's question at all, and lock the thread.
> While a gem like this, dripping of sexual innuendos, on a "family site" ( :roll: , a term I've been PM'd for and reminded of for such hard language as "I HATE YOU" on a siggy) goes on till subjects of transexuals and third legs are brought about.
> 
> Smashing job mods! :thumb:
> 
> 
> 
> I've been wondering about this myself; on this topic and one other that I won't name...
> 
> It doesn't bother me, but I've told my daughter to stay out of them! :thumb:
Click to expand...

The subject matter in the topic doesn't bother me either. I can pottymouth with the best of 'em. It's the uppity judgements of the mods on what they deem "lockable". Irks me nerve.
Maybe the mods _do_ have a sense of humor. :roll:


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## justin323

Not after they see the last few posts. :wink:


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## straitjacketstar

justin323 said:


> Not after they see the last few posts. :wink:


Unexpected humor in the first place, expectedly shortlived.


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## becadavies

I dont see any hypocracy from the mods watsoever.....OPs who post "where can i get ......." are redirected to the reviews or trading post!!! This is so the discussion is not filled with every1 asking where and wen people can buy/sell fish etc...

This Thread happened to be based on gender.
The differences in gender that keep aquaria and its inhabitants.

Jokes were made towards a member r.e his private goings on, that he chose to devulge.....they were lighthearted digs that were taken lightheartedly by the OP.

Okay so it drifted off of subject slightly... and Mods WILL remind us to stay on subject. This forum is probly one of the friendliest, enoyable forums i myself and i know other members have joined and taken part in. Purely for the fact that it is not as uptight as most other forums.

We all share the same interests- fish and aquaria etc....is it not then made better if people can then have "a laugh" and make friends aswell as giving and receiving info.

Apologies if this thread offended urself or anybody else including any moderators. i think it was a case of getting caught up in the moment.....and the moment passed.


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## justin323

:lol:


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## straitjacketstar

becadavies said:


> I dont see any hypocracy from the mods watsoever.....OPs who post "where can i get ......." are redirected to the reviews or trading post!!! This is so the discussion is not filled with every1 asking where and wen people can buy/sell fish etc...


I see full well why it is done but can also see how these actions may not provide an answer. But they don't really make exceptions. Link and lock.

My problem is not this thread, the people taking part or the "laighthearted" subject matter.
My problem is the quickness to which mods take to lock threads that would not threaten their valued family orientation but seem to overlook a topic that has touched on such non-family friendly subjects.



becadavies said:


> This forum is probly one of the friendliest, enoyable forums i myself and i know other members have joined and taken part in. *Purely for the fact that it is not as uptight as most other forums.*


I was with you up until that last part. One reason it is so enjoyable for me is the amount of activity by people with a likeminded genuine interest in the hobby and people who can provide facts and knowledge concerning the hobby. As well as the members who are able to express their sense of humor within the basic conditions of the forum.
However, it's certainly not for the forums "laid back" mood with all the locking and checking the threads go through and air of condescension. Not a negative in general but quite so inexcess, especially when they're not applied uniformly. I certianly wouldn't consider this a "family friendly" forum. Not with all the high and mighties running around losing their patience on those new or less knowledgable. That's my own personal view of the forum though. Everyone's entitled to their own.


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## Aura

I don't think anyone said they were offended by any of this, just surprised it's gone on this long. (Actually it's the other thread that I can't believe.)

The mods are usually so quick to jump on you for the smallest little thing. 

Contrary to your experience, this is the most uptight forum that I've been on.


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## blairo1

Yeah, I'm definately one to get back on track, I just need to find a decent general discussion forum to unleash my bursts of crazyness.

I very much enjoy this site and most of the time like to share what I would like to think, is valuable or useful information. The majority of my posts are serious, friendly, fun but to the point.

This might not excuse my outbursts at time and I can only hope they don't offend anyone, everything is always meant in complete jest and a little more control is in order, for my part at least.



I'm more than happy to get back on topic and stick the course..... I'm sure the mods understand that I don't want to compromise their position so I'll take this into consideration and make sure I screen my thoughts before I vent......

Sorry if I caused any offence/issues!!


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## becadavies

straitjacketstar said:


> becadavies said:
> 
> 
> 
> My problem is not this thread, the people taking part or the "laighthearted" subject matter.
> My problem is the quickness to which mods take to lock threads that would not threaten their valued family orientation but seem to overlook a topic that has touched on such non-family friendly subjects.
> 
> . One reason it is so enjoyable for me is the amount of activity by people with a likeminded genuine interest in the hobby and people who can provide facts and knowledge concerning the hobby. As well as the members who are able to express their sense of humor within the basic conditions of the forum.
> However, it's certainly not for the forums "laid back" mood with all the locking and checking the threads go through and air of condescension. Not a negative in general but quite so inexcess, especially when they're not applied uniformly. I certianly wouldn't consider this a "family friendly" forum. Not with all the high and mighties running around losing their patience on those new or less knowledgable. That's my own personal view of the forum though. Everyone's entitled to their own.
Click to expand...

I agree, although i cant say *** ever had a thread linked and locked.

The first 2 responses regarding this issue came across like u were offended... it seemed to me more so wiv the comments made than the Mods actions. That is why i apologised for the actions and comments made by both myself and the other parties. Upon reading ur posts _after_ writing my first response u both clearly state neither of u were offended in that sense more in the hypocracy etc!! So i apologise again for apologising for u taking offence   

Im sure in future we'll all re-think our posts wen getting "caught up in the moment". :thumb:


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## becadavies

And i apologise to the Mods for contributing to any issues that have been made and voiced on this thread...im sure that stands for all concerned also :thumb:


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## justin323

I just realized my post looks like I'm laughing at becca's post. I'm not, we just posted at the same time. I suppose I can keep my comments a little more controlled as well(back pedal, back pedal).


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## AnnaFish

I had my sig button that linked to the guessing game removed because it said an acronym for what the blank. I understood their reasons... but :'( I want to make a new one but I can't decide. Should it just be GTF? or can I put What the Fish!? I would rather do What the Fish!? But I'm worried that if I get TWO sigs banned I'd be labeled a bad kiddie.

And now I'm worried that my thread about gender's gonna get locked! ... Unforunately I started it with the "Cabana boy" :\

Earlier I posted a thing about a possible lab holding in the malawi section and they moved it to illness and health! But I put it in the malawi section because it's a malawi fish! And a lot of malawi fishes are mouth brooders! But if they think it belongs in the Illness and health section then that's fine...

I don't really know that I have a point at all...

SO

Back on topic!

I see the gender ratio is still pretty close to 75/25

It's been closer to 70/30 recently though. My Married Couple option is throwing things off. But I know some people post here together under the same name.

But I don't think I've read any of those people replying in here??

Hmm..


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## MalawiLover

I will add two ladies to the list. Both I and my girlfreind and I love our fish. We currently have 3 tanks (I am working on a 4th). I do 99% of the posts, but thats just because my work place does not have an internet ****. We are both animal people. We have a dog and a horse. Our only problem is she loves the color and interactions, I love the behavior, the science (genetics and chemestry) and working with the tanks. She always helps with the maint., but she really has a germaphobia thing so she won't touch the "dirty" parts.

I have always been a tomboy, and she a girly-girl. We belong to a medieval reinactment type group and I fight heavy weapons (sword and shield in full armor) and do leatherwork and blacksmithing, and she prefers the caligraphy, target archery and costuming aspects.

I have to agree with some of the earlier post as to the reason for the male dominance. They are driven to bigger and more by their genes. Life is a competion. The one with the most (biggest) at the end wins. What, I don't know. For most of the women I know inthis and my other hobby (also driven by male competative spirit) is that women strive to do things better for their own personal edification, not to one-up the next lady. While I am proud of my tanks and my leater/metal working, I don' get mad when someone does it bettr, I just work to make mine the best I can and be recognized for that. I don't feel the need to "get out the ruler" to decide who is best "equipped". Maybe I am way off, but this is the first stuff that comes to my mind when I ponder the gender differenc


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## AnnaFish

Man, that is awesome! My fiance and I went to little fair last year and he got all into wanting to be a blacksmith! We used to fence for UF but we had a falling out with the coach... :\

My fiance won't touch the icky parts either!! :lol:

As for gender differentiated competitiveness -- I guess it works out, mostly. But I know that for most other things I am very competitive. But maybe I'm more competitive with myself than with others... ?

:-?


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## MalawiLover

AnnaFish said:


> As for gender differentiated competitiveness -- I guess it works out, mostly. But I know that for most other things I am very competitive. *But maybe I'm more competitive with myself than with others... ?*
> :-?


I think you hit the nail on the head. Women (in my humble opinion) are more in a competition with themselves than the others. Don't get me wrong I am very competative. I have only been fighting heavy weapons for aboput 6 months, but I am determined to get myself knighted (not unusual in the society, but its pretty rare in my kingdom). I am not out to impress the guys or my lady, but to acheive the goal I have set for myself in the time I think I should be at that level. When others win, I am never mad at the other guy (or girl) but am mad at myself if I don't live up to my own expectation.

Granted I do have tank envy for alot of you out there (both genders), but my current goal is to make my current tanks the best I can. While an 800g tank would get a WOW from anybody, I want to get the same WOW for my tanks and fish, because of their appearance and streamlined maint. I do my water changes once a week. I could let some of them go longer before the nitrates reach 40ppm, but I want my fish to be happy and to show their best all the time. I am actually more interested in the smaller tanks (<150gal) that have that WOW factor and set my goals to get the same thing. In my mind the only thing I need to do is to talk to the better person and find out how they did it. What drills to they do, or tank additives, etc so next time I will meet or beat their tank (or fighting skill and move on to learn from the next one up.


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## AnnaFish

Yeah. I think it's a lot harder to make a smaller tank impressive. You have to fight the urge to over stock. You have to fight the urge to make an unsuccessful mix. You have to fight the urge to pile tons of different features in there and make it look tacky and over stuffed.

Because we all want the whole lake. But we only have a few gallons.


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## MalawiLover

clap, clap :thumb:


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## blairo1

> I am not out to impress the guys or my lady, but to acheive the goal I have set for myself in the time I think I should be at that level. When others win, I am never mad at the other guy (or girl) but am mad at myself if I don't live up to my own expectation.


I'm a guy but this is mostly how I feel, I don't do anything to "wow" anybody else, certainly in terms of aquaria this is true, the only thoughts that go through my head in regards to my tanks, is how I feel about them, how natural they look to me, how easily I can get lost looking into it and forget that it's an aquarium, how healthy those fish are etc.

Those are just some of the factors that drive me to better myself as an aquarist. It is most certainly not what one person thinks, or the other, :lol: I'm not keeping fish for anyone else but for my own pleasure so why would I concern myself with how "impressive" my tanks are to anyone else.......

You can love my tanks, you can hate them, it really matters not (of course it's nice to get praise for your hard work) because I'm not looking for approval from anyone, unless I ask, "what do you think?"....... Even then it's not about getting praise and wowza's, it's about getting feedback, hearing other peoples tastes and opinions and seeing if they could be utilized by yourself, try something different.

I think to develop and further yourself it is very important not to let competitve nature dictate your actions, competition is a great motivator, but it can also lead you on a road that is based on the wrong foundations.......

I just thought that the male side needed representing on a different front, saying that, I didn't really have a dad and got brought up by my mother, so that may well have influenced my self competitive nature rather than the stereotypical (and fairly justified) neandertholic male role........

:lol:

I guess my point is that it isn't always about bigger means better, although this may well be the case in a lot of instances, but I am far more impressed by a small tank that is well planted, stocked, maintained and tended to, something well presented and thought out..... I'm more impressed by the pics of 30-75 gallon tanks that LOOK like monsters, but are actually mini sanctuaries.......

I think that the hobby may well be male dominated, but I have a hard time believing it. More to the point I believe that MalawiLovers point of males outward competitive nature, versus womans self-competitve nature, means that naturally, men are more likely to seek those outside sources for validation/to impress, where woman are not looking for that as they are seeking only really their own validation.......

Simplified - men are more likely to look for somewhere to gain validation/to show off (not necessarily egotistically, you can show off without being an egomaniac you know!!!) Therefore more males are likely to utilize portals like this to show those tanks, than their female counterparts.....

Am I being sensible enough for everyone here .... I think this is very interesting.

:thumb:


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## MalawiLover

That is a beautifully worded sentiment. I couldn't agree more.


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## Rift485

I agree with Blairo that my tanks are for my pleasure over anyone elses. And by this point I have learned to accept the fact that 90% of people that see my tanks look at them for 30 seconds and lose interest. I get plenty more "Why do you have so many tanks" than "Wow I really love what you did with this or that tank". So I think the fishkeeping hobby is one of those where it's more difficult to gain personal satisfaction with your work through outside appraisal.

On the other hand, I think MalawiLover has it dead on that men tend to compete more with others than themselves. Must be all the pressure to play sports when we're young. IME, at least what I've seen, coaches of boys' teams preach that they are playing to win, to beat the other team, and girls' coaches want to win but also preach having fun and bettering oneself on a more consistent basis.

Another reason for males' externally competitive nature? I think it has to do with the way "mate selection" (Wow that's an interesting way to put it) for the human species is based largely on the man trying to attract the woman, not often the other way around. Females seem to have a tendency to let the guy pursue her while she sticks her nose in the air  This is especially true in the younger years, say between ages 12 and 20. To me, pursuing a woman to date is all about the chase for the guy, and for the girl it seems more to be "Ok I have guy A, B, or C to choose from, which do I want the most. Not fair!! It is a rare (and wonderful! :thumb: ) thing when a woman makes the first move, but I think the need to impress others with material possessions and success, even when it comes to fishkeeping, also comes from that aspect of the life of a man.

What do you ladies think of that?


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## blairo1

> It is a rare (and wonderful! ) thing when a woman makes the first move, but I think the need to impress others with material possessions and success, even when it comes to fishkeeping, also comes from that aspect of the life of a man.


Hence my neandertholic joke - it all goes back to primitive instincts with us guys :lol:...... The guy with the biggest catch of food, the best cave/house (sometimes hard to distinguish) etc etc is usually the "dominant" male..... The one that all the "chicks" dig. (Sorry, ladies!)

I'm going to go and have a good scratch now, assert my dominance over this cave....


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## MalawiLover

blairo1 said:


> I'm going to go and have a good scratch now.


 Making sure its still there? :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## blairo1

:lol: I'm only king of my fish, even they aren't faithful minions all of the time :roll:.


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## AnnaFish

You know, it used to be that GUYS were the ones in the feathers and the fancy makeup trying to get the ladies attention. Dressin' up like birds and struttin' around.

Now women are all dolled up all the time. But I don't think it's for the man 99% of the time.

Its for the women!

i.e Look at how pretty *I* am! All the boys are gonna want _me_ *see*.

That's why we get all upity when a man stares! It's not for him! It's war dress! Displayed finnage -- all women beware!


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## justin323

I always believed females were way more viscious than men. Just in a unknown sneaky kind of way.  I'm glad about the feathers they sure were uncomfortable.


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## TheFishGuy

Hi kids :lol:

Let me clear some things up for you about the mods, any mods on any site. It's obvious I'm a laid back mod with a sense of humor, but for some it's serious buisiness. That's fine, different strokes for different folks. I like to have fun, poke fun and even be made fun of. Anything to get people to laugh.

In short, we're not (mods) one collective body, we all have different personalities just like everyone else..... I usually only step in if people start to get nasty towards each other, and I do a lot more moderating during the winter months when I'm slow....

By the way, nice save on getting back on subject :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'm a guy, hence the name TheFish*GUY*

(That was for the slow and pregnant) 

This is how I moderate..... *BE NICE* It's pretty much that simple 8)


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## becadavies

:thumb: :thumb:

-And just to clarify The "_slow_ *AND* _pregnant_" part:-

He meant -All you _*slooow*_ people as a group in general......

and as a separate group entirely -All us _*pregnant* _people...... 

-He did not mean.......the Slow + pregnant as one person!!!!

Isn't that right TFG.  :wink:


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## straitjacketstar

Awww. No pooping on TFG. We know _yous_ cool. 

...uhhh...am I gonna get in touble for saying "pooping"?


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## TheFishGuy

Nope, I type a lot of poop :lol:

And what's with all the posts being edited that are directed towards me becca????


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## AnnaFish

I didn't think ANY of the mod comments were directed at you....

And yeah, it was a nice save, wasn't it?

What do you think? Will my "What the Fish!?" button get banned like wtf did??


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## becadavies

TheFishGuy said:


> I'm a guy, hence the name TheFish*GUY*
> 
> (That was for the slow and pregnant)


Ooooh i see, U was reminding _yourself_ of ur gender!!!! - Oh so _slooow_ one. :wink:

Sorry, my mistake... :lol:


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## TheFishGuy

Who knows......

Thing is, the rules are in place for a reason, and that's why this site _is_ such a great success. Some of the rules I don't agree with but most I do.... We're supposed to use are own disgression on things and sometimes things do get out of control, but for the most part our mambers are a great bunch of people from all over the globe....

That's just cool.....

And becca..... I did mean it as two different groups.... all though you were a bit slow at guessing my last fish picture  My next picture is going to be of one of my own fish....

oops, wrong thread :lol:


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## straitjacketstar

Rules is rules and that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. :wink:



TheFishGuy said:


> ...and sometimes things do get out of control


This can apply to the people who uphold the rules here and, ultimately, that is what I was trying to point out. This place _is_ great but like anywhere else, it's not without it's cons. Whether those who run the site see this an issue fit to address it's up to them. I know full well you can't please everybody. So then, we all make happy? 

On a subject related to the original topic, I'm trying to convert my sister into a fishkeeper but she's deterred by the technical aspects of the hobby. Does she count if she has the tank and fish but doesn't do any of the work? :-?


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## AnnaFish

Hahahaha! Start her off with something that doesn't need a lot of maintenence. So that she can fall in love with fish in general. Then, when she falls in love with a fish she can't have without upgrading on the upkeep, she'll be more prepared to do it for that fishy love!


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## straitjacketstar

Ahhh, if only it was that easy!

I started her with a 10gl tank and a handful of guppies. Bulletproof guppies that I'd been keeping before they met their demise...I mean _her_.
I told her not to put anything into the tank that doesn't belong in a tank. I gave her a list:
_soap
unwashed hands
cat
anything besides fish food_
Wha she do? Plants her mood ring smack in the middle of the gravel bed to pretty it up and it somehow kills the fish.
It's not like the tank needed any more tackying up with the multi color pebbles and seizure inducing light-show going on in there. :roll: 
So I backtrack and give her a betta which she loses interest in.
Eventually I tossed out the "your own tank" deal and gave her charge of some of my tanks. All she had to do was feed them when I was gone, which she had to work on at first but she got it eventually. She even started to enjoy the fish and would call me just to let me know if my fish were spawning, or fighting or doing something cute. Like a real fishkeeper! :lol: 
Now, I guess she's got it all down cause she wants her own tank and went right past FW and wants to start a SW. All for the love of a foxy-faced rabbitfish. ...and she wants me to do all the work. :x

I've tried getting my brother into it but he's a germophobe and won't touch "dirty water". :lol: 
I try getting my mom involved too. She likes goldfish but I've yet to talk her into a 60 gallon tank in the livingroom for some orandas.
I really need a bigger house. There's just not enough room to keep enough of what I want here, I have to go pushing stuff on other people.


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## Big Vine

straitjacketstar said:


> It's not like the tank needed any more tackying up with the multi color pebbles and seizure inducing light-show going on in there. :roll:


LMAO...just tell her it would have been safer to attach a strobe-light to the outside of the tank.

Hmm...wait...what was this thread about again?
Oh yeah...gender. I'm a boy trapped in a man's body. 

BV


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## becadavies

Im a girl....wiv a boy trpped in _my_ body....


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## Munky

Is that another pregnant reference? :lol:


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## justin323

No, not from becca :lol:


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## becadavies

:lol: :lol: Ha Ha, Justins right..........I ate him for breakfast!!!!

Im only joking, stay on topic please justin.....stop trying to drag me down wiv u :wink:


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## blairo1

TheFishGuy said:


> but for the most part our *mambers* are a great bunch of people from all over the globe....


Hahaaaa, had to bring that up, that's a subtle typo right there TFG!!!!

Mamba, hehe, I'm a mamba baby.......

:lol: It never ends.


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## AnnaFish

Mammary Members....


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## becadavies

14" Black Mamber


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## Munky

And here we go again.......................................... :lol: :lol: :lol:


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## becadavies

Aaahhh, u see.....out of context....

Black Mamber (mamba) is a venomous SNAKE!!!!! :lol: :wink:


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## AnnaFish

That's what she said! 

Hoho!Meanwhile --

Hey everyone! What is your first fishy memory? When was that spark that ignited the aquarian in you?


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## Munky

Well dont post any pics


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## Rift485

I think one thing that saves topics like this is besides those posting in it, nobody is going to read through 9 pages just to see who's a guy or gal, so lots of that stuff just gets lost. Phew! :thumb:

Now to try to aid in the covering up of Beca's last topic U-turn inducer

My first memories of fish came when I was around 5. We had a small tank filled with large goldfish, some around 6". When my parents went to sleep I used to get out of bed and grab this or that fish out of the tank and go into the bathroom, where I would fill up the sink and dumb the fish in so I could play with him! It was great fun for me and probably less for the fish but I never killed even one of those suckers. I must have been careful to match the temp and pH of the tapwater and added plenty of de-chlor first :roll:

Goldfish.......Solid rocks with fins.


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## blairo1

:lol: I just thought it was a funny typo....
I know of black mamba's and green mamba's, I should do seeing as I'm a bushbaby, but uh, I wasn't pointing down the snake trail....

You guys are nuts!



My first fish memory is in South Africa at my uncles plot of land, they had a huuuuuuge reef tank, that's about the only fish tank anyone in my family has ever really had. It was awesome, I used to just sit there and watch them cruising about.

None of my family, cousins etc really keep fish tanks, some do but none I ever really saw and even they were just the standard goldfish bowl. So for me I'm like a pioneer, a fish pioneer in the family. They all think it's great, but I'm nuts.

Or so I'm frequently told.

We got fish because my partners brother had some and I really liked the tank, it was a 20gallon which, compared to anything else I've seen since the reef tank at the plot, was awesome (ie NO other tanks :roll and that just inspired me. I loved the idea of creating a world for those animals and having them as fascinating pets....

Oh how little I knew, it all spiralled out of control and now here I am up to my eyeballs in fishsoup......

I couldn't be happier about it. In fact bring it on, the more the merrier :lol:. My first fish was a goldfish, called Michael, I won him at a fair when I was about 8 throwing darts at cards (also set me up to be a good hustler lol). I won three times in a row, cleaned the dude out lol but only took home michael. He lived for a good few years but my Dad kept him with him whilst I was off with my Mum travelling, so technically he was mine for about a week. I don't think that really counts.

Long story, cut short - the end.....


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## Rift485

Double post.

Double your fun.

With Double Mint gum


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## Rift485

Triple play.

Go down to the bay.

And eat some hay.


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## Rift485

Hmm what rhymes with Quad?

This post is a quad.

Should be buried under sod.

By Beca's good buddy Rod.

And I am not allowing any "rod" references to come out of this!


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## blairo1

Ryan, your story is very funny and I think your computer is a fan, you might want to calm down that right finger bud!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:.

Were you getting impatient, my post took forever to load too!


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## Rift485

Yeah forever as in Timed Out 3 times, which logically would mean the post wouldn't go through right?? Oh no, it persevered. Big time.


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## becadavies

Munky said:


> Well dont post any pics


Im not shy.....*** devulged more in this forum than u'd care to shake a stick at...so y stop now:-

GET ON THIS............










EDIT:- Ahhhhhh, too bad....photobucket must be broke  nevermind  :lol: :lol:


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## Rift485

I think that's a sign from the gods of mercy...

And decency


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## becadavies

just read the double.triple,quad post thing :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

-RIFT :lol: :lol: :lol: u are an abosolute FREAK!!! the funniest freak i have ever come across thou!!! 

:lol: lol, Your seriously not well hunny :lol: :lol: :lol:

I think *** pulled a muscle in my stomach laughing..... :lol: Owwww. :lol: got cramp.... :lol: :lol: :lol:

:thumb:


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## Rift485

I don't know if I've ever said thank you for being called a freak, but what the hey. Thanks! :thumb:

So when was your first experience Beca?


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## becadavies

With what? :?:


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## Rift485

What happened to that photographic memory of yours!

Fishkeeping!

(a few pages back...)


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## becadavies

Where did u get "photographic" from???? :lol:

Let me go back!!

Okay so i mustv'e missed that bit from Annafish!!!  Thats ur fault, wiv ur trigger happy finger :thumb: making me laugh.

I wondered why every1 was babbling on about goldfish :lol: :lol:

Okay my first ever fish was wen i was 10 years old... (15 years seems a lifetime ago  )

She was orange and white and her name was Julie   
she lived in a tiny goldfish bowl with pink trimming around it. Although she was upgraded as the obsession went on.....i think she lived for 7 years!!!! No filter,no pump,no dechlorinator.....how bad is that!!   I used to clean her out every day wiv sparkling clean cold water straight from the tap. :?

Then wen i was 13 i got a 3ft tank and filled it with tropical fish- guppies,platties,mollies,neons etc etc. cant remember wat happened to that lot? Anyway, i was 16 wen i went to college to study Equine Veterinary college...i competed internationally in 3day eventing- all this time no fish..... so i had a 3year gap wiv no tanks

Then somehow the obsession started again......gave me OCD and here i am now talking to u lot over the www. -With my current Mbuna, Frontosas, Oh and a 2000Gallon koi pond.

Thats it really :thumb:


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## justin323

This post has long since lost any source of direction :lol: And I'm ok with that  I don't even remember what made start keeping fish matbe something in school? I really don't remember. Odd?


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## justflow1983

We had 2 29gs growing up for a while, one with goldfish (a big one I won at a fair named Bassy that lived 5 years or so), and the other with a few _S. fryeri_ my father was intent on breeding. This was before the days with good internet advice, so the LFS said 29g was okay and thats what we used. I don't think he got more than 5 or 6 fry out of it ever, even though he always stripped the female into a 15g when she was ready. The tanks were also ugly as sin too, my dad is a post-modern sculptor and making pretty things have never been his strong point; he cares far more about concepts. So after my mom killed the fish when my dad was out of town for a month teaching, i got to have a 29g to myself with guppies and swords for a while before i killed those. Probably close to a year, the tank was in the basement cause my mom hates pets and eventually i got bored of going down there to feed them. must've been about 12.

Anyway, my roommate had a pair of fancy goldfish that died, so I took over the tank about 6 mos ago. Now I have a rather terrible mix of a pair of Bolivian rams and some community fish, but I have to get rid of all next week so I can move to ireland so I guess that experiment is over. I'm going to set up a demasoni species tank at some point when I get settled over there. I've definitely caught the bug, its a great hobby to help me relax.


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## Guest

1546 views & only 80 votes  Come on people lets get to voting... :wink:


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## Number6

If members can please refrain from excessive chat like posts it would be appreciated. 
Let's try and stay on topic please.


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## AnnaFish

The change of topic was my fault. I suggested we talk about our first fish experiences because talking about "why I'm a girl and you're a guy" got boring.

Perhaps our first fish experiences can also lend some insite into the male female gap? For instance, I'm sure that MANY people's first fish was a goldfish from a fair! What girl goes out and trys to win fish by throwing a ball in a bowl?

When I was around 7 or 8 I tried to win a goldfish at the church fair. But I didn't. :'(

Later, I was at my Great grandma's house (we called her Big Mommy or Big Mama -- I think it's a southern ghetto thing). We were sitting in the kitchen, and I was probably pouting over not getting any fish. When my grandfather (poppop) shows up with my great uncle -- and 5 goldfish! 

They all stayed in a little gold fish bowl at PopPop's house because I had a cat (actually, I think my mom hated the fish). Somehow they lived for quite some time. But each one died off one by one eventually. My favorite one, goldy, died during my first communion. :? The last one, spot, died who knows when but I remember I bent over to pick something up, hit my head on the counter, and saw that he ACTUALLY had two x's for eyes!

Later, in highschool, I rescued some goldfish from a class war thing (chem class gave us chickens, calc class - us, gave them a beach with goldfish?). When I got them home I wound up cooking all but one of them. (... too hot water I am retarded). His name was newton and he lived for a year until my neighbor killed him.

My first semester in college I got a betta. I named him Icarus. He and newton (no they were not in the same bowl) lived in my dorm room until spring break when my neighbor killed Newton. That summer, Icarus jumped to his death.

So I went out and bought a NEW betta. His name is buddy. He is about to get upgraded to a ten gal (to keep it cycled for fry -- I hope). He has been around for 3 years.

For my birthday last year, my Fiance's parents bought me a 55!! That's where my africans live. And I recently picked up a 75 for my Nics! And I need more!

MORE

MORE!!!

My favorite park has always been seaworld and I used to want to be a marine biologist. Now I study digital arts and sciences at UF and to make up for it, one of my minor's is Fisheries and Aquatic Sciences.

weeee!


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## becadavies

U forgot to tell us ur middle name??? :wink:

Im only joking Annafish.....Great story thou!! Really "flowy"- took me 1+1/2 to think of mine  (my college years were a bit of a blur!!!! :wink: )


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## AnnaFish

My middle name?

Oh I get it now!

My whole life story!

My name is Anna Maria Vittone (excessivly italian).

Though the family members mentioned above were mostly scottish. Or Native American/ British criminal.


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## Munky

Annafish- that is moe than excessive chat - 'how dare you!' :lol: :lol:


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## justin323

My sister in law is Italian.

Oh man this thread is gonna be locked. :lol:


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## eric

Unfortunately, you are correct. I'm sorry, aquaria related discussion only please. This one was borderline, it was only a matter of time. 

Eric
Site Admin


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